Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
