I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
