i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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