They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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