If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
