what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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