Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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