Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
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I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
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how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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