Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
