Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
