STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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