Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
