do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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