How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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