Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize