It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
The feeling are messing with the penis
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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