so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
