I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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