i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
