I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
