I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Four minutes until I can fart!
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I am available for nakedness
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize