Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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