Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
