Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
