I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I looked at my own cervix.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Your cock deserves a montage
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
