if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i wish my penis had a tongue
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
