There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
