arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
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I queefed so loud it echoed.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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