Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
