Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
