Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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