Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
