Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
