Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
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I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
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You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize