Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Randomize
