yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Boobs are out for the taking
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
