last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
