How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
