My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
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