as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Randomize
