Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
