a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
