I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
