Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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