Me too!
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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