You made me cry and you don't even care
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
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