just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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