I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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