just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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