If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
