Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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