I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
