Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
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