I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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