Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
