you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
