How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
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i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
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so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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