I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
My dick has a subreddit
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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