At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
