We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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