I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
sex in a hospital.. check
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Randomize
