1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
My dick has a subreddit
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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