It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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