What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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