i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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