his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
