What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Randomize